A personal archive of micro-essays, self-reflection, and miscellany.

5 Simple Rules for Better Days

One. Wake up early—I know you're tired and cozy, but you are meant for so much bigger things than hitting snooze or rolling over.

Two. Don't check the news—There are ways to "be informed" in ways that don't also lead to you being enraged, and no, you actually don't need to know the exact nuances of today's forecast. Pick up a book on history, philosophy, poetry, or science. Read one sentence. Now you're a little smarter, and probably not all riled up.

Three. Make something that didn't exist before—I don't care if it's a vaguely creepy doodle on a piece of scrap paper, a poem that's one line (it counts and don't let anyone tell you otherwise), or joining your kids when they pull out the crayons. If you don't have kids, grab a ballpoint pen and a stick note and make circles. Any and all of it beats scrolling.

Four. Delete or remove something—The pants that don't fit right, the email that's been in your inbox for 5 months, the app that's slowly and steadily eating up hours of your precious life.

Five. Every time you want to vent, complain, or talk about someone, say something you're grateful for instead—I promise it feels so much lighter.

Romanticize the ordinary. Stop waiting for life to become impressive before you decide it's worth noticing. Delight in the butter melting into your toast. The steam on the bathroom mirror. The smell of basil in the grocery store. Acknowledge the satisfaction of a freshly folded pile of laundry. Put on music while you wash the dishes. Take the longer walk home because the trees are doing their beautiful and dramatic transformation once again. Notice when your tea becomes the perfect temperature for sipping. Look up at the moon, and not just when it's full or an eclipse. Let ordinary life be enough. Only then will you understand you were never waiting for a better life. You were learning how to pay attention.

Developing a "hard shell" is not the goal. To remain unbothered and unmoved is not the way. Let yourself feel things, to feel everything. And then release. Learn to let in the sting of something sharp, the weight of heavy, the sadness when there is pain. Sensitivity is not a character flaw, and crying is not a weakness. The key is to not let these thorny emotions take up residence. To treat them as worthy visitors into your home, but never a permanent roommate. Keep yourself open enough to actually experience your life, but disciplined enough not to drown in it. Feel the difficult emotion. Thank the difficult emotion for its lesson and memory. Then politely show it the door.